Although I never had to travel more than a few miles to see my mother, from my law practice and speaking, I know many caregivers struggle with the challenges of long distance caregiving. So, I culled some of the literature on this topic and can offer you these tips:

1.         Maintain communication with your loved one.  When you talk on the phone, be alert to changes in speech patterns, evasiveness, lack of recognition, loss of hearing, inability to discuss current topics (vs. memories) -- anything that hits you as inconsistent with your knowledge of the person.  This may indicate that mental status is changing. 

2.         Build a local safety net. Reach out to your loved one’s local relatives, friends, neighbors, pastor, volunteer agencies, a home care agency or hired social worker. Let these people be your eyes and ears on the ground, alerting you to changes in behavior and habits, financial or physical exploitation, or the need for more support or out-of-home placement. 

3.         Educate yourself about local resources – is there an adult day program suitable for your loved one? What about transportation? Is there an active church group that would “adopt” your loved one? Is there a local chapter of the Alzheimer’s Association offering more information on resources?

Here are some resources for you to contact:

The Eldercare Locator, 800-677-1116

• US Administration on Aging, www.aoa.gov
• AARP, www.aarp.org
• Visiting Nurse Association of America, www.vnaa.org
• The National Family Caregivers Association, www.nfcacares.org
• Find the local Chapter of the Alzheimer’s Association, www.alz.org

In the best of circumstances, caregiving is not a one-man show.  Long-distance caregiving can resemble more of a community effort. Building your network and being able to take somewhat of a back seat to the process can be challenging. However, if your goal is to maintain your loved one in his “familiar surroundings,” these steps may be necessary to maintaining your peace of mind.