I recently had the honor of presenting my keynote speech and two workshops for the 14th Annual Dementia Care Education Conference presented by the Sioux City Iowa Chapter of the Alzheimer’s Association. The title of the conference, Many Seasons | One Journey, was particularly meaningful for me, as it spoke to the uniqueness of each caregiver’s journey and the impact of Alzheimer’s on our loved ones. No two journeys with Alzheimer’s are the same … for the caregiver or for the patient.

Conferences like these are held throughout the county by various Chapters of the Association. Drawing both professional and family caregivers, these conferences offer a unique opportunity for families and professionals to mingle and learn more about the roles of each other, in a non-threatening environment. I think this is so important, as along the journey of Alzheimer’s, there will inevitably come a time when families and professionals must partner together to meet the challenges of this disease. Welcome this partnership!

Professionals and family members are equally integral parts of Alzheimer’s caregiving, each offering something different for the loved one. Professionals bring skilled care on many levels and families bring emotional care on many levels. It is not a competition; in the perfect situation, it can be a collaboration.

Yet, on so many occasions in my practice, I see families at odds with providers and facilities. Why is this so common, and how can you avoid this trap?

1. Families bring unrealistic expectations to professional care. I think this happens when families are fearful about the disease, tied to the past, and unsure of the future. Learning all you can about Alzheimer’s can help you deal with these intangible feelings.

2. Families, especially spouses, see placement in a facility or in-home care by a professional as a failure. I think this happens when thinking leads caregivers down the path of self-pity, guilt, and anger. Remember, you are in control of your thinking, not your loved one, the professional caregiver, or the disease.

3. Families bring their own agendas to caregiving. I think this happens when there are unresolved family dynamics, misplaced role-identification, and denial about the disease process. Obtaining professional help with these issues can help you be the best caregiver possible.

In each situation presented above, attending an Alzheimer’s Conference can provide you with resources and the help you need to deal with these issues. I urge you to contact your local Chapter of the Association, or visit www.alz.org. Attending a conference is one way for you to embrace the many seasons of this journey.